Shine:)

This morning I was a bit behind. I hit the pavement at 6:15. It was so quiet out I could hear my breath coming out of my mouth, it was brilliant. Soft strides became my pattern. The words of my friend Adam were being heard in the back of my mind… “stay on your toes, use your hamstrings, sprint for 10 minutes…” I listened and applied… wanting to became accustomed to this NEW sport I was embarking on.

I read in a magazine that hills increase the amount of energy you burn by 40% so I was planning out my route as I ran. I couldn’t have asked for a better morning.. the air was so light which is not so in South Louisiana summers so I cherished it all the more. My heart was set for wide open spaces… the biggest lot of green grass in my couple miles radius. I noticed that I was wired for such a place. It occurred to me that it WAS THE PLACE I desired to be… no concrete sidewalk guiding my feet, no I wanted the City Park golf course with all it’s hills and thrills of turns and soft grass. That is what I was yearning for. So off I went….

I laughed at myself as I veered off the sidewalk and onto the dirt path that had been worn into the ground by years of people like me or golf-carts… whichever. As I ran the glee in my heart burst forth. I was in bliss. Silence in the middle of wander. I basked in it all, sucking it in like I had just come up for air. God showed me something in all this. He showed me that as much as I like the “off the beaten path” bit that so it was in my life. The formal sidewalks and streets that led to more streets just did not appeal to this girl the way the windy dirt road called out to her. I was comforted in His showings. I saw that as much as I look at all the streets and all their conformity and uniform cleanliness that was not this girls’ heart beat. The standard squares that made standard blocks BORED THE HECK out of me.

Instead, I realized that it was that disheveled trail that my heart long for. Probably leading to broken down places and people that have been lost along the way someday in some God awful way. Nonetheless I felt comforted. I felt encouraged that like that path into the wide openness, their my heart felt most alive. And being alive, well that is something I can’t pass up in this one little life I have. One thing that I feel mandated to is in John 10:10…
“the enemy has come to steal kill and destroy but I have come to give you life and life more abundantly”…
I revel in the words of Christ here. Longing to FULLY understand what He is speaking of… the “full Life”… Not just your regular, run of the mill living but full OUT LIFE>>>>> How can I, how do I….

It’s just that so much of my life has been a debacle. Utter debacle-ness. And then there is Christ. There is this man whom I met or who met me… whichever… and well since then has revolutionized my life. Revolutionized…. let me help you…. RADICALLY, SUPERNATURALLY and absolutely emphatically>>>> But it doesn’t even hit the tip of what He has done. And literally HE… not Natalie… not a system or a set of anything… LIKE HIM>>>>> And so it’s this passion to see John 10 pursued and acquired for all who seem just as equally fascinated.

Being most alive. Where is that for you? How does that fit into what He has in your life? All these questions I do need more time with and so I can conclude that there is this innate desire that I have just been able to put words in my own life and I am thankful for His allowing me to understand a bit more of how this clock ticks. I think about if I wouldn’t have ran this morning… or if when I did run I would have stuck to the streets, the blocks in the neighborhood and then… then I would have missed this all…..

If I could, I would. But I can’t. It’s just “too” much you know. Too diverse. Too BIG, too God… apparently Him you know. I try to put into words the crazy love He has for me but they don’t express the way my heart feels they should. It’s as if a small child were to explain rocket science. See, it’s quite impossible. The darn little one would stomp his foot and pound his fist.

I see Him in ALL things these days. I think He is having the grandest time watching me find Him in all of it as well. It started with those darn “birds” the other day. Everywhere my head swiveled there they were. It’s as if every bird in Baton Rouge wanted to pass my car, fall in my line of sight, fly my way, pass in front of me. I laugh at the God-ness of it all cause it’s one of those things that if I tried to explain you would stop listening. He just wanted me to get it you know… His care for me, the magnitude of love He has for me!

I have to tell you, “I am NO bird-watcher of any sort”. If anything I have mocked the sport and enjoyed mocking it indeed. BIRDS>>> as if… don’t we have a bit more to do than “watch” flurry, flying things PERCH on a limb or wisp from tree to tree??? One would think.

So it was about 5 weeks ago to the day and all the sudden it was as if Alfred Hitchcock’s bird story came alive all over again. They weren’t trying to kill me or anything but they were definitely MAKING their POINT> I couldn’t escape them. It started with a lone blue bird. He caught my attention one random morning as I drank my tea and looked into the front yard in my half sleeping blur. There he was… all beautiful and blue. I watched his little self and for some reason became acutely aware of his significance and then he went off and me as well. So there it all began. From that moment forward I saw blue birds and red birds and every other sort of bird making it’s way into my life someway, somehow.

One day I even saw two dancing in a parking lot as I was about to pull out… Just bouncing up and down, back and forth RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME… I had to stop and stare. I was cracking up as I shot the picture of them for my friend to see. It’s outlandish if you think about it too long. But y’all for WEEKS this has been my life! BIRDS>>>> LOTS OF FREAKIN BIRDS>>>> I even went to the extent of lookin up what “bluejays” represent and of course to no avail. Just a bird.Then I ask Him, “why the blue ones”… and He says this… “blue’s your favorite”… I died. I was laughing out loud at this point… His crazy love me… all to get into my little, thick head that He is just so enthrawled with me… little ol me.

I defaulted back to Him. I looked up the Scripture about the whole deal and it just soothed me to my soul. “Look at the birds. They don’t need to plant or harvest or put food in barns because your heavenly Father feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than they are.”

Here is the flier for the conference coming up next week… Doesn’t it make you wanna SCREAM>>> It’s probably the most exciting thing in my life in a long while…. LOOK AT IT this way…. A conference to fuel the leaders of Southern Africa to go deeper into their ministries, churches and God given opportunities to CHANGE THIS WORLD>>>> or this bit of the world at least… Makes you wanna dance I know….

And of course the beloved MEETINGS>>>>

Here is the team at the Rodgers house the other day… there’s Ben, front and center… he is a jewel…. the whole team is way pumped to see what is going to come from these next days of sowing…. Let the games BEGIN>>>>>

TAKE NOTES NOW>>>>

Craziest idea… “Let’s LOAD all the clothes that were not bought at the garage sale onto a trailer and set up shop in the corner of Plank and some other road in the middle of the ghetto and see who wants to LOAD a bag for $3…. it’s all for the missions field…. any takers??? Crickets….. Come on, it’s a whole bag…. 12 quarters…. HELPING someone get to the Motherland>>>>>>

Fine, I am taking my clothes and rolling out. It was a lot of fun trying and Paul taught Kristin and I the 101 and 102 lessons in ballin’ or hustlin’ or … hmmmm, he was the teacher, not I. Things to take away, NEVER set up your shop in front of the “nickel and dime” shop… times are tough these days and well if I had the $3 bag joint or nickels and dimes… need I say more. Second and most important always make sure that the items are strapped down before driving on any major roadway…. Bye bye pillows.

So if any of you amazing people have fundraising ideas please don’t hesitate to write them down and let this girl know!!!! And please, don’t forget to hollaaaaaaa…….

So it’s been quite the trek over the past 5 days… 5 months…. whatever…. it all morphs into one at this point. I am learning more than I did in the 16 years of formal education I went through which costs thousands of dollars, thanks Dad… this learning on the other hand counts for eternity sooooo… thanks BIG Dad.

This was the first nudge from Him this morning. I had a great time with Him in the morning and then the first stop of the day, to pay a bill, He comes and blesses me with this lady in the line in front of me. I just chuckled as I fling my phone out of my back pocket and snapped a pic.

For some reason these days I think I stopped the running the race. Yeah, I think I got worn out, tired and just plain dehydrated. Definitely the last. I couldn’t muster up the energy to run really nor did it seem appealing in the least. It’s as if I was sapped, nada… on ZERO. Still on my knees but I was still sapped. I wrote in my journal that I had officially come to the end of myself. Like NOTHING was working. None of the familiar tactics, none of the familiar weaponry… tools.. NOTHING, it all resulted in the same result… NOTHING> I wrote it like this… “I am a blind woman fumbling her way to a door in some direction”…. No one is directing me but He is indeed holding my hand. My awareness of His grip is at times blurred or distorted however never not a guarantee.

It’s like I am learning a whole new game. The rules are constantly being brought to my attention at the most inconvenient of times. But I must incorporate them. It’s not an option, more of a necessity more like if I don’t learn, I can’t play. The whole thing about it is I am constantly incorporating. I am wandering when the whole mess of a game will let up and I can just can enjoy the sport. Maybe not in this game? Maybe not in this life? Season?I don’t know.

Who knows, He does. Nonetheless He ALWAYS comforts. It says, “blessed is the man who mourns for he will be comforted” and well He don’t lie. So I am learning to embrace brokenness. I am learning that having it all together, figured out, in it’s nice little box labeled “LIFE” doesn’t mean nothing. All it really does mean is your mistaken, that you have utterly been lied to or better yet, lied to yourself. Wheeew…. I think I am writing out of frustration at this point and should probably conclude or not publish.

I just looked longer at the pic and noticed the runners in the various positions. It makes me smile. I realize that at one point he was down, that it was actually a “stage” in the race, a quarter in the game. I do see the victory at the end as well though, I do see the arms stretched high and the beauty of the race completion and VICTORY. I do see. I WILL SEE>… and now I will sleep! Thanks for listening.

One liners…. what really says wisdom like one liners?

Really, I have read a lot of stuff so to say… articles, books, yada… yada…yada… and I am finding out the main things that stick with me are the ideas that stick to “main things”. I heard one the other day and it has since haunted me, taunted me and gradually brought me to ask those difficult questions to the Man who was whispering the questions for me to ask Him all along.

Someone said, “people die with potential all the time”.

ALL THE TIME> That is some pretty strong word-age. And packs a pretty strong punch if you let it sink. Let’s look at the word potential. “POSSIBLE AS OPPOSED TO ACTUAL” says dictionary.com  Possible like obtaining those random dreamings that occur throughout the day or possible like what you set you mind to instead of what your mind actually accomplishes. Possible like  tangible if willing possible? Possible like stretch yourself, get uncomfortable and make it happen possible. Like making the home run possible or completing the triathlon possible. They MUST be talking about the possibility of all things being possible, possibly.

Another definition is “CAPABLE OF BEING OR BECOMING”. Capable like able to but optional? Eish….. does that translate into “ball in my court”? And since it most certainly does is that like the moment in life where I wake up and find that I actually desire more than I “do” and see the “potential” that is said to be sometimes buried with the flesh and never produced in the here and now?

It all makes me want to not sleep. It all proves to myself that I am not living to the fullest. Jesus once said that He desires that we live life to the “full” in John chapter 10. I always loved that verse. I would read it and something inside of me sent sparks off. I dreamed when I read it. I imagined all that I could and multiplied it times God’s FULLEST> It compelled me at one point… not so much this one… maybe that’s why I am writing. I like to verbalize the internalized to help calm this souls’ longings to do something not so human sized but God SIZED>>>>

When you were a child you spoke and acted as one but now… NOW you are a GROWN UP… and well… we all know that if you are indeed wearing the BIG pants and using BIG words then desiring BIG things is absolutely a part of such a life. I mean we got the big house, the big job, the big bills…. where’s the BIG LIFE? And so here I am. Listening to my heart beat for something God sized. Waiting to move when He says go. The problem is now, I don’t know if I am supposed to ask or be told. Wait or shoot out in the million directions this feeling could take me to.

I was a child and now I am not.

I don’t want to be that person who is packed with potential 6 feet under. Ughhhh. what an awful feeling. never coming to the end of myself to let Him begin.

Stinking ONE LINERS>

SERVOLUTION: a revolution spurred on by serving.

What a brilliant idea. One that could only be described as God sized. It’s just too big of a concept to allow anyone else to claim it and so Healing Place Church’s Pastor Dino Rizzo unfolds his story of what Servolution has become for Healing Place Church in his latest book….

Servolution: starting a church revolution through serving.

Three main goals are identified as far as Servolution goes. The first is to initiate a complete and radical change of a person’s life through simple acts of kindness for the glory of God. Second is bringing God’s Kingdom to earth and thirdly a church revolution through serving.

The idea of Servolution is one that has developed through years and has been intricately designed for Healing Place in Baton Rouge. One thing that Pastor points out is that, “it’s not the same for every church”. The idea is one that should be replicated but not exact duplication. It’s going to take on it’s own shape and form church by church, city by city and so on and so forth. It’s an idea that has morphed through the years and one that will take on the form of the people and places implementing it into their community. No two churches exactly the same, just same idea for reaching people, same passion and energy for serving the local community and bringing His glory here on earth in a very tangible way.
Pastor Dino and the team of Healing Place have walked through this process of forming Servolution for the past 15 years with no idea of it’s implications to come. It started simply out of a willingness to be the hands to help and since has grown into something more than Pastor’s DeLynn and Dino ever asked or imagined. It is truly God writing this story.

Pastor covers all the ways the church has been involved in reaching the local community since the church started; he covers everything from free rat bait to the church’s response to the devastation of national disasters hurricane Katrina and 9/11.
Servolution is about impacting the world around you for Jesus but it flows into so much more than just giving yourself and things away. It flows from one believer’s life into the next. Your whole church is transformed while reaching the lost, your congregation is united into one vision, for one cause because of the One man Jesus. It’s a process that brings DNA into your church body; it’s a process that will forever change the atmosphere of your church’s arena; it’s Jesus style living out loud and with a name…

it’s SERVOLUTION>>>>>>>

After reading this book I have seen much clearer the purpose of “the church” in it’s community and more specifically Pastor’s heart for the Baton Rouge Louisiana area. It’s a honor to be part of something so much grander and larger than our mere selves, after this read I realize my role within the local church and how it is closely related to the world around me. God is moving quickly here and now and if anything after reading this book I see the urgency to reach His people in a way that is relevant and helpful, tangible and practical to all.

Pastor makes loving people seem so easy and natural, the way it should be. Would HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK for anyone who wants to become more of a part of their local family and be transformed through the process of it all. Servolution is NOT just about you “giving out” but about GOD GIVING to you through you giving!!!! A little Isaiah 58: 6-12 if you know what I mean>>>>>>

GET IT IN YOUR LIFE>>>>>>>>

Just wanted to say hello. It’s going to be an awesome Easter weekend. The team of HPC has outreached in the community alongside of 200+ churches over the past 7 days doing a little something called SERVOLUTION…..It is such an honor to be a part of something so much greater than ourselves you know?

>>>>>> GREATER>>>>>>>

I like that word. I like a lot of words. I guess you can call me a sortof “words” person, thanks Zinty. I just love the way you can combine random words and make beautiful melodies. Some words are just beauty in themselves. Some just plain jane words are just pure beauty….. when they are connected to your heart in a way that only speaks to you. It’s sortof like how the word “Hand” is to me now or “master”… ones that I hear and immediately they take me somewhere, some place, to HIM.

Nonetheless much has progressed in my life. I am being stretched like putty. Being formed, shaped, fashioned and made. It’s a crazy beautiful combination if I could say so my self. I have NEVER EVER been in a season like the one I am in now. It’s intense, it’s perplexing in multiple ways and keeps me on my toes, knees and face. I just never would have dreamed that I would be here. I never would have placed myself in this spot of the mountain, valley, wherever I am. I definitely would have chose the sunny sandy beach BUT GOD right? But But But…. I am in a constant speaking of “but”. Nothing is more beautiful or lovely than to be where He desires you to be, on every level. It’s strangely uncomfortable and peacefully sustaining in the same moment. How does that happen? Just throw it into the many other paradoxes that come when you serve the One.

“It’s an inside outside upside down Kingdom, where you lose to gain and you die to lose”…….. IHOP, Misty Edwards. She goes on to sing…. “we want to be with you where you are, where you are… your the SERVANT OF ALL…… You got to hide and do it in secret if you want to be seen by God…. and you got to go down if you wanna go up…. and you got to go lower and lower if you wanna go higher and higher>>>>>>>>>Because it’s the INSIDE OUTSIDE DOWN KINGDOM, WHERE YOU LOSE TO GAIN AND YOU DIE TO LIVE……

Oh there is SO MUCH to do, so much>>>> Stengthen me from the inside out Lord. I just want what you want. I need it. There’s no other place my soul longs to be so help me to DIE to myself…. put away Natalie and develop that inner place that longs to go deeper, that longs to be more like you….. SPEAK to my heart…. don’t let me settle, don’t let me compromise, don’t let me settle or become so comfortable of “my places”“places” that I miss the you desire to bring me. USE ME, BREAK ME, MAKE ME!!!!!

Does my heart screaming make this get to heaven any quicker>>>>

AGHHHHHHHHH>>>>>>>>>>>>

Hanging with the precious ones…..

Getting to spend time with the Super star, RoCKER star of all stars… ms. Dedicated star… shining BRIGHT for Jesus star…. Lacey D… aka… repping hard.

FYI- Favorite saying, “this is how I roll”….

I got to make some art>>>>> Took it back OLD SCHOOL>>>> Chalking up the front lot…..

She’s been Jesus’ hands and feet for me… more to come about this woman…. her name is Mrs. Linda…. loves Him, represents Him to all… nough said…

Did it HPC style at the nursing home… We love oldies… you know what they say, “oldies but goodies”…. I think that’s it…

Church of the Harvest all the way from Chicago…. coming to glean from and serve the campuses of HPC BR and Dville

Live your Life ASAP Life…. Repping….. I LOVE THESE LADIES>>>>

Honored some of the students that made it through the curriculum… went fishing and BBQed it up…. Tony was a pro…. I left after I saw the first worm die….

And they lived happily ever after…..

Look at the stars/// Look at how they shine for you….

I can’t imagine a more grander place than right here with you. You and I… “us”… what a beautiful way to be, place to be… being together seems to be the only way I need to be.

My heart is leaping, my soul is hungrily satisfied, necessarily in need of more of You.

How does this ever come true, this wish I wish for you.

It’s as if Beauty has it’s perimeters and I am a bumbling wanderer in search of it’s endings.

Richness on all levels seems to be my ambition and still even more my Cross is lighting the only way, the way to MORE LIFE, to more You.

Oh how they shine for me. Oh how they shine for you. Oh yes they doooooooo…. they are all yellow.

Kari taught us all to dance>>>>>>>

if you could have been a fly on the wall…. you would have paid money>>>>

WE DANCED AND SANG TOGETHER>>>>>>>

We ate together and GOT COLD TOGETHER>>>>>>>

We got our SOCKS BLESSED OFF>>>>>>>

Kaycee made us beautiful>>>>>>>

Sister put the finishing touches on Angel (Kristin)>>>>

And then there was the BRIDE>>>>>>

And God of course showed up (this is definitely an inside deal). Just trust me; He has a AMAZING sense of humor>>>>>>>

Great friend, AMY ANGEL KRISTIN STUTES BRINSON>>>>> is tying the knot this weekend. We are officially in wedding mode… in Destin Florida… mom and I are just finished up cleaning the kitchen and about to wind down for the night… it’s a beautiful evening… LOTS OF STARS OUT at a cool 60 degress>>>> which if you know me at all, you know that my heart is so happy on that stars note. Well I just wanted to say HI, will keep you tuned in on the beautiful wedding details….