“writers write”
November 10, 2009
If what I heard is true, that writers write like a runner runs then I am terribly out of shape in both areas.
I was up at 6am on Saturday and out the door by 7:15am. I was going to an early appointment. As I drove through my quiet neighborhood I was surprised to see all the random runners out and about. It wasn’t several yards and then I would see another one, trotting by… pounding the cement.
I thought about their devotion. I thought about how many people had not even peeped their eyes open in the world for the day and these dedicated people were already planning, enjoying and exploring this one.
I thought about what a friend of mine had said to me several weeks ago. Nat, “runners run and writers write”.
I sat on that statement several times since hearing them come out of her mouth.
I haven’t been dedicated to either my physical activity nor my writing. One is much more important than the other in my heart. The writing. I know He has told me to write the story of my life and the lives of many others. I know that they aren’t going to write themselves. I know that without severe discipline it won’t happen, not for this highly ADHD woman.
So organization and planning have come to be my allies and I pray their company completes their intention. Pray for us.
She’s got her ticket.
November 8, 2009
I haven’t been completely real. There is probably a hundred things about Natalie that you don’t know. Or it might just feel like 100! Part of me is swayed by the naysayers whose opinion is for me to keep it all to myself. The other larger part of me can only hear the unrelenting voice that propels me into transparency and vulnerability.
I suppose we are all here at some point. A place where our body feels like a wishbone being tugged by two 5 year olds. Who’s going to win? Which one will end up with the larger piece? I know where my heart wants to end up. And I am sure it will because there is no place like this place I am.
It’s every bit of real this place you know. It’s heart affecting real and that’s why I adore this place so much? Who wants a story that is filled with fulfilled desires of consumer living or paty cake relationships that end before beginning. No one likes the likes of those anyway and well if they do then we probably would run out of things to talk about anyhow. Or in the other larger case we would probably not even be drawn to each other in the first place.
It’s terribly hard for me not to be real. It’s just the mind I have. I hear about “masks” that people wear as characters not wanting the role they have been given or even signed up for themselves and I honestly can’t identify. It’s a terrible sadness I am sure but I have my own terrible sadness-es. I have one’s that to me seem to be the end of the world and I am sure to others they would throw their hand back behind their face and say, “ahhhh, that’s nothing”. But to me it’s everything and to the people that wear the masks, it’s everything to them.
And so we are all one in the same so to say. We all have that something or something’s’. We all pray that it goes away but the reality of these things is that they are the exact things that rid themselves of the very power they have over us. It’s not as complicated as I have just said. It’s quite simple. “What we let fester in our hearts begins to lead our hearts” and the only thing that should be leading our lives is Him. Not the masks, the secrets or any other ploys of the Enemy we all are familiar with if we are quiet enough to listen.
I have been challenged here lately to be real. Not so much to you all but to myself. And what has come from it has been the single most liberating happening in my life.
Thanks Truth, let’s talk some more. Bring Realness by too, we have somethings to discuss as well. And do bring lots of Time cause Lord knows these conversations are lengthy.
Story’s 1st “StoryPROJECT”
November 5, 2009
Hey everyone! We are working on raising funds to build a cinder block house for a very special family. Here is the story from a personal side of the whole deal. His name is Kerry and he is committed to telling their story in hopes for a better life for this family!
I am thinking we are going to capitalize on 60 second videos. As of now we are working on getting a web designer and get this BALL ROLLING on this Story project….
More than sticks and mud…
November 2, 2009
Once upon a time…. It just wasn’t supposed to happen. There was no rational way when looking at it. Financially, the resources weren’t there, and besides, Kerry didn’t have that burning desire to go to Africa like the rest of the forming team. Maybe I am not supposed to be on this trip, maybe I should NOT step out into this unknown?
Despite everything Kerry kept thinking and planning, a last-second out of nowhere donation of $1500 showed up. His faith began to grow and he knew that God had a bigger plan than he did. He pushed through the doubt of his heart and continued to pray from the complete amount. Somehow all the monies he needed trickled in from the most random of places. He ended up on that trip to Nkobe, Mozambique. A place that is the pictorial definition of the word “without.”
A woman of the area, named Raquel, had reached the end of her rope. She had no way of finding a job in such places as these so she continued to show up at the local church and serve the community. She soon found herself with no one to turn to but a missionary, Deborah whom served along side of at the Healing Place Church Mozambique team. Raquel told Deborah of her desperation, that her children were hungry and that she could not come up with a way to feed them anymore. Deborah did the only thing she knew to do in this situation- she came together with Raquel in prayer: “Lord, please make a way to take care of my family.”
She repeated this prayer daily and I am sure even momentarily until 13 days later there was a sort of a collision. See Kerry arrived in Mozambique and his team was hosted by Deborah. One day while working construction with the team Kerry saw a small boy from across the room. His name was Junior, one of Raquel’s children. Their meeting was not just coincidence, it was a God collision.
Kerry fell in love with that boy that day. Like many of the team members that visit these Care Points Kerry wanted to be a part of this ones life. Through Deborah, Kerry told Raquel that he was going to take care of her and her family. He knew nothing up to that moment of the prayer she had started to pray just days before, yet all the same he was the answer to her prayer. As we interviewed Kerry he said these words, “there is no reason these people have to go another day without food” and so he committed to help change their story.
Raquel’s life has not been the same since her meeting Kerry- but recently there has been a major change in her life. About a month ago she and her children were kicked out of the “mud and stick makeshift house” they had been sharing with ten other family members cause of a problem with one of the sisters. Without anywhere to turn she went to Issac, the pastor Deborah works with, and since then he has taken them in temporarily.
Like Kerry, STORY wants more for Raquels family. We want “more than sticks and mud”. We want more than hopelessness and hunger for this family. We want shelter, refuge, and safety. We want cinder-blocks, about 3,000 US dollars worth of them.
We are presenting you with an opportunity to help build, to help change Raquel’s sad story into one with hope, to change her story.
STORY wants a “happily ever after…” for this family.
Mother Teresa said once, “I never take care of crowds, only of one person. If I stop to look at the crowds, I would never begin.” We at STORY believe the same. We believe that we can change someone’s story, one life at a time. Crowds overwhelm but one life is tangible, one life is possible to change. And so we are inviting you to participate in changing someone’s story.
By purchasing a tee shirt for $20, every bit of the proceeds go to building Raquel a home… Consider helping to write a happily ever after for this family….
STORY cont….
October 29, 2009
So this is the beautiful Paramount Theater. Carole took this with her mad camera skills. (she read her book before she came to Chicago)
We made Donna take a lot of obnoxious pictures. She loved every minute of it!
This is the lovely Ben Arment. He is the director and creator and visionary behind Story09! He is exceptional and delightful. He gave us some tees at this point and asked us who we would like to meet. Of course I said Donald and to our disappointment he was sick 
There will be a day!
Ben was one of those sort of people that was super interested in what “you were doing” in life. Unlike those “Me MONSTERS” that consume the entirety of every conversation onto themselves. Carole was a beautiful, stunning addition to the group (Carole submitted her own adjectives) and opened a can of worms as she shared all about the DreamCenters that we are a apart of. It was a treat to meet Ben and he encouraged us with his story of Story which was birthed from 4,000 dollars, a dream and some connections. The huge thing was that he jumped before looking. He knew what he wanted and he went for it. He encouraged us to not just give ourselves with part of our lives but with ALL of it in the pursuing of our dreams! Challenging….
I learned a new way to dap.
And here was Carole’s GLORY MOMENT> She will never forget this for her whole life I am sure of it. Although she is over my shoulder right now telling me she is NOT a stalker she was indeed on a search for her “blog idol” and did indeed find him. Los was probably the most down to earth, pleasant blog-star I have meet. He had a hot red leather jacket ever that kindof made me want one.
And this makes me not able to breath cause YES I am obsessed and yes not ashamed! If you haven’t read anything by this guy you are truly missing out on life. He is exceptional. His latest book, “A million miles in a thousand years” tells the story of how he found “life” while editing his life.
The premise is that we are all living a story and that our story’s are determined by us! We create better stories, we create who we are and where we go. It’s compelling to read and a must on my list.
Carole MADE me keep my hair down ALL day! I know, she claims that me and Leuuuuugh need to consider not “up-doing” all the time! Shame. So here’s my happy face… I don’t think a second went by that there was not a smile on this face. It was an amazing day!
Thanks HPC… everyone up here is crazy about our church. So cool that we have left a GRAND impression on people ALL over the world! Hollllla!
MORE to come!
STORY Conference!
October 28, 2009
We are walking out the door, here’s the story behind STORY…
It’s hard to put into words the amount of excitement this trip has produced in me up to this point. I have to say, STORYChicago is not a Natalie idea it’s solely the Lord’s.
Come with me back to July. It was a regular Thursday. I had been in Donalsonville for what felt like 10 years on that day. The afternoon got better as I drove on the interstate back home into Baton Rouge. It’s as if all the load of the day was leaving the body the further I drove. It was a reflective ride; no telephone chats, loud music or other distractions from my thoughts. I am sure I tried to figure out my day in that 45 minutes, my life, all it’s bits and pieces and probably my lack of accomplishment pertaining to my job for that season. The longer I drove the deeper I thought.
I was meeting three friends for dinner that night. My dear friend, Kristin had begged for us to dine with two other friends of ours. The couple, Dave and Jean was an older couple from our church. They were the best couple to be around. They were passionate about missions and pros at being on the field. Jean had more wit that The combination of the couple’s personalities was enough to keep any person engaged for days! It was going to be a fine night and a memorable one come to find out.
I was early by about ten minutes and I walked into the restaurant to wait. As I bent down to sit on the bench I caught eyes with a familiar, welcoming face. It was our Pastor. He always seemed to have a crew around so seeing that it was just he and his son, Dylan, I immediately knew approaching him would be an ease. His table was in the middle of the restaurant and the way he looked at me I could tell he was open for an interruption. My heart probably did several things in that moment and all of me was smiling.
He said, “how are you doing?’ I told him I was well and told him I was meeting Dave and Jean. He listened and went quickly to the next question. “What cha doing these days”? I told him that I was in Donaldsonville and that I was on the grant with Church United till Sept 2010. He listened and then said, “so what are you really passionate about”. He was digging and I was enjoying the search. I told him that of course I was crazy about missions but I told him namely that the Lord had been putting it on my heart lately to tell people’s stories.
I gave him the briefest version I could of the “project” that I felt that the Lord had put on my heart… StoryforHisGLORY… that entailed the telling of peoples’ stories to show the hand of God in the everyday lives of people all around us. To show how God is still moving and mightily at that, from the depths of pain to the doorsteps of hope. And the 2nd part, “project stories”, that would shed light on people’s pain in hopes to raise funds to fix an immediate, dire need.
He listened and the excitement spilled out like a dam broke from my mouth. He said, “That’s funny, I was just talking about telling the stories of our church more today and he followed it up saying, you need to meet up with my friend, Ben”. He went on to tell me that Ben was putting on a conference that pertained to “Story”…. I almost screamed as he finished his thought saying, “the Story Conference in Chicago”! He was like yeah, when is that. I said, “October 28 and 29th”… I told him how I had emailed another Pastor at the church to find out if anyone from HPC was going and was told, unfortunately no.
He looked at me and said, “you email me Monday and we are going to send you up there to represent HPC”…
I about fell over.
He just kept looking at me and nodding. I wanted to jump, dance, yell… parade around the restaurant chanting something like, “YOU ARE KIDDING ME…. I AM GOING TO STORY”…. I think he could tell by the size of my eyes tripling that what was happening in my heart was more than just a good feeling.
I almost clicked the “register” button for the conference a week prior to this conversation but the Lord wouldn’t give me the peace to press “Buy Tickets”. I wandered why until that moment and now I was wandering “why me”? How could He love me this much?
I know this time in Chicago for the next 4 days will be a time in my life that I will call “pivotal”. I had a thought the other day when I was twittering. I said, “Story09 Conference, I will never be the same”. And I know at this point I won’t.
See the story has already begun to be written. I am expecting God to use this time to speak to me very precisely about the project that has been bouncing around in my head and heart since May 2009. Please pray with me as this story unfolds.
I know that it is prayer alone that makes things happen.
Repeat after me… “Lord SPEAK TO NATALIE AT STORY, speak SO clearly that she will NOT hesitate about what you have spoken to her. Open doors and grant her only the favor that her Heavenly Father could grant. And of course give her MORE than she can ask, think or imagine.”
IN JESUS’ NAME!
I do declare!
October 19, 2009
My Love, where have you gone?
I miss you, I need you.
My soul is thirsty for you.
My heart is empty without You.
They say You are always with me but my flesh is doubting my spirit’s plea.
They say You are my rock but my feet can’t seem to stand.
It’s as if I am wandering in some desert sands.
Looking…. longing…. Searching and Wishing…
You say that you are a Light unto my path,
but it seems that I am O too sad to see.
Your say Your love is long and deep
but I am lost in my despair and I only imagine defeat!
Oh Lord,
Reach your Hand there!
Oh Lord, reach where no one dares!
Reach to me and rescue me!
For my heart is weak and my strength is gone and all I have is this little song.
So reach for me, if You dare.
Reach for me cause You say You care.
I close my eyes to feel your touch.
The pain this heart feels is O so much!
I linger longer and HOPE does grow stronger.
My heart it sighs as feelings fade and doubts die away.
I trust you Lord my soul declares!
I trust you Lord as Your Hands prepare!
I trust You!
I trust You!
I do declare!
Now wipe these tears and also the despair!
Do what You can only do and make this heart not so scared!!!!
“Aren’t you MORE valuable than them?”
October 18, 2009
It was one of those days today. Bliss: perfect happiness, great joy. I couldn’t put my finger on the specific reason why it was so brilliant. It was like a great scene in a movie, all the shots lined one another and created a perfect-ness! From one scene to the next, I left with MORE than I came with and I believe they did as well.
I have to tell you one particular scene that had a build up of the past several days…
It was Thursday. I was running the roads frantically as usual. It seems I am always running, my mind the most but namely today physically on the roads. I pulled out my gloss. It’s a perfect gloss I got around December when I arrived back in the States last year. See it’s a splurge of a gloss. It’s higher end Chanel brand and I LOVE IT. It makes me feel pretty as a shiny car sortof gloss. I am a pretty particular person and so the same with my gloss. It’s also a ridiculous $27. I used to not think much of money. That was when I wasn’t paying for everything.
It seemed to me that this paper was indispensable. Valuable but nonetheless indispensable. To my surprise. Fast forward to the present. Me, my 20 hr a week job as of October and all my bills.
It seems strange to ask God for something like lip gloss but I swear that day in the car He challenged me to ask Him for a lip gloss. “There is no way that some random person is going to give me Chanel lip gloss Dad!” You can call me the GRANDEST REASONER around, to a fault I am sure of that. But in my head my case was simple. My budget is tighter than a size 10 trying a size 2… there’s no room anywhere! And so when I have been applying the same empty tube of lip gloss to my lips for the past week I knew this was ludicrous to even imagine Him telling me to “believe He could provide, if only I would ask”.
It was Friday now and He said, “why not”. I am sure my answer was somewhere along the lines of “crazy talk Natalie”. It was selfish for one and for two it was LIP GLOSS! But He persisted, “It’s Me Natalie and I am asking you if I can?” I couldn’t resist. I “entertained” the idea. I said, “okay, if this is you then make a way cause you know I ain’t got one”. Done. Said it. Still thinking I am ridiculous though.
It was now Saturday and I was applying the same empty tube I was the day before. Again I am thinking of the impossibility of me being able to buy a new tube. The sadness of being broke. The relief that next month is on it’s way and I was going to dip into grocery money for my new gloss if of course He didn’t (trailing off sound)…… I then wondered if my sister Mel would for some strange reason call me and say, “Natalie, I have all these lip glosses, why don’t I send you one!” See rationally reasoning again. But that’s as far as I could imagine. All the while I still had that deep feeling that I was not believing He could get manage on His own. Doesn’t He have enough on His plate? I felt trivial and then again selfish. I dismissed my wants and continued driving to my friends house.
It was somewhere out in Denham, LA. Not the sort of place I call home. It’s unfamiliar and as of now I have decided anything outside the city limits was officially “the country” to me. I got out my car and ended the conversation on the phone I was having. My friend since I was 3 was having a celebration party because she had just found out she was pregnant. She’s one of the 5 girls in my life called Kristen. I love that because Kristen (an, in) means, “like Christ”… so I am surrounded by some pretty good people! She trumphs the others in a way because our lives started with one anothers. I do not have many 24 year old relationships so it’s something that isn’t easily explained.
Her family is like my own of course and upon arriving there was long and loud hugs and oooohhhhs and aaaahhhhhs and all those necessary things that women do when they see other women. I hugged her like it was a lifetime since I saw her. I love a good hug. There’s more in a hug than arms. There’s conversation in a hug for sure and ours had a lot to say.
She brought me into the babies room and showed me all that she was planning for the next season of mothering. I was excited as a kid with a new toy. It’s something terribly wonderful about sharing these moments with your friends. As she was updating me on the colors and turtles and blankets and such her mom walked in and started listening. We were all physically close to one another like a team huddle. Jenny, the mom, pulled out her shiny tube of something and I squeaked, “is that Chanel?”…. Her mom is the glamorous type. To the nines all the time. Beautiful and proper. She fits into the top end glamor magazine sort of woman. She said, “no, this is just one of those run in the grocery stores and get one”… I said, “oh, okay, I have been into the Chanel ones… I love them… they are like the best”… and on and on about the glory of the Chanel gloss.
Kris looks at me and says, “come see Natalie” and off we go into her bathroom I followed her. It’s terribly clean, not like I remember and smelling fresh. She digs into a bag that is on the floor and pulls out a pink tube of goodness! “I have this one that I never use, you can have it!”…. I KID YOU NOT!
Chanel pink LIP GLOSS.
I know. I like to have fell on the floor, rolled around and let it rip! It was so Him. I couldn’t explain the elation that I was feeling. I gasped and laughed and threw my head back and my arm up and made the biggest mess as I told her the story of the past several days of conversation Him and I have had. It’s as if He was standing right next to me elbowing me in the arm saying something like, “see… that’s how I do it, and you didn’t think I could do it… ha… your best friend’s… never been used lip gloss… I GOT THIS”…
Trivial, coincidental, I THINK NOT.
So it just falls into the same category of the BIRDS… the freaking BIRDS….
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? _Matthew 6:25
He is passionately concerned with the details of our lives. PASSIONATELY!
You can see the bottom one’s sad emptiness, wand all white and without gloss But then you can see the beautiful-ness of the top PINK gloss!
Selah
LOVE>
October 16, 2009
If love was a hand she would have slapped me in the face today.
It’s as if she couldn’t care and loved to dare and step to the edge of the ledge and say, “I will jump, I swear”. She’s serious like that. Like eyes over a pair of winning Jacks. She wins with these skills and if looks could kill… well, let’s just say she would knock em dead and laugh at the thrill.
Love has spent her time with me today. She has captivated me and whipped me into shape…
It’s like she has no rules. She plays by her own and WINS every time.
I love love.I love to be loved by love and laugh at how she has made me more in love than before. How does something like this happen? It’s NO FORMULA I swear cause if it was I would buy a million dollars worth and NOT JUST ON SALE…
I love why I love to be loved. I love why love makes my world go round. I love how love doesn’t always love back. How she has a way of making you come around.
It’s a twisted game of love we play, but it is one that must be done.
I try to understand her and keep her and make a “safe place” for her to stay. But that’s not how she likes to operate. She is a wild one you know? With bouts and outs and times she goes, never staying to long to understand her flow.
I have seen her win in the pits of life. I have seen her win when there was no sight. She won anyway and everyday that I have let her play, cause she always wins, it’s who she is, it’s what she does and that’s why her name is “LOVE”…
She’s unlike those “other” ones. She is sharper and wiser and stronger and longer and she knows when to step down and she sees when her time is gone. She’s a smart little thing that loves to love and that’s why I hold her so close and that’s why I can’t imagine forsaking her love.
See she fights. She dies. She let’s her guard down. She punches and kicks and always is making obnoxious sounds. That’s my girl, the queen of the world! Her name is LOVE and no one can contend with her.
Love me longer love. My heart grows stronger, my days are longer. I have to have you close to me. Stay with me, fight for me. Don’t let me forget your love for me.
You are so good to me LOVE…
MySTORY> pt1
October 12, 2009
This is a draft of MySTORY pt 1 written by the one and only Leuuuuuugh Friedriches. I did some editing on it last night and will be publishing it as part of the StoryforHisGLORY project that is under development! I can’t escape the idea of telling people’s stories. I am currently working with several other people to put together a “project” that will be two fold. The first will be “HopeSTORIES” which will consist of stories from every kind of dimension that display the Lord’s work in a person’s life. The second part is the “StoryPROJECTS” which will focus on telling people’s stories in order to raise the awareness of their situation and allow everyday people the chance to “change someone’s story” by buying a beautiful custom tee based around their story.
So here it is… Part 1 of course cause unfortunately my story is one with MANY dimensions.
She’s one of those people that you do not meet twice. She is all of those nice things you hear people say and a hundred more. You can’t really put your finger on it but you know it has something to do with her love for life. I met Natalie Ashy Spera a couple years ago. Just a few years over 20 you could never tell the story that she contains.
Born and raised in Baton Rouge, La Natalie is far from your typical Southern girl. When you talk to her it is hard to imagine the pain that she speaks of as being her own. When she described herself as a kid she mentioned something along the lines of “a rebel without a cause”. Being raised by great parents and brought up with all a girl could have asked for. She still had a hard time fitting into the mold of her other peers. There is a quote I read the other day that said, “The cure for boredom is curiosity and there is no cure for curiosity.” But Natalie would soon find that out. She started finding things on her own that could bring more excitement to her life. After switching to public school for getting asked to leave the private one she got mixed up with the “bad crowd”. Her life took on new twists and turns. At the pinnacle of this time she ended up with friends in Memphis TN one night for a concert. After they drove through the night with alcohol and drugs as their guides she ended up in the same hospital that Elvis died in, only she was hanging on for dear life.
Typically a child this age would have immediately been scheduled meeting with her parents but instead the situation was thrown on the back burner when she got back home because upon her arrival back she found out her dad was given 6 months to live because he was diagnosed with brain cancer. It was a short 5 months later that her mother found out that she had a tumor on her brain as well and would need immediate surgery for it’s removal.
Within a couple of weeks Natalie’s life was turned inside out and upside down. The life she once relied on had failed her and almost took her life. Her parents current state left her lost and with a lot of questions. It wasn’t too long before a friend of her sister’s started reaching out to her with the message of Jesus. Natalie was immediately gripped. She knew there was more to life than what she had been living and she was desperate for the remedy.
Her mom had surgery to remove the tumor, but died 9 months after because of complications. Just three months after dealing with the passing of her mother, her father passed on as well after battling cancer for almost two years. At 22 yrs. old Natalie was left an orphan. Picking up pieces of her brokenness life never looked the same again for her. With no other family support, no parents and a life the world offered left behind she hoped that this Jesus man had more to offer. She began to piece her heart back together slowly through new godly friends, the local church Healing Place, which a friend had brought her to and the assurance that, “beauty would come from the ashes”.
Her relationship with Christ began to bloom and she continued to pursue this life altering relationship with God. She leaned in hard on the One she gave her life to and she opened up her wounded heart to the people that He began to surround her with. Psalm in 68:6 says, “He is a Father to the fatherless and He places the lonely people in families”. It was this verse that she held onto through all those days and you can truly see now that Jesus does indeed give a crown of beauty for ashes.
Her story is one of HOPE. It’s one that exemplifies JOY and PEACE in the aftermath of heartache and pain. God has truly redeemed all that was lost by bringing her into a new family, the church family that has been instrumental in her healing in becoming the woman God created her to be.
Natalie declares today that without Christ nothing is possible, but with Him all things are. He makes all things beautiful. Even the most ugly.
Yours.
October 11, 2009
Lately I have been thinking loads about the time I spend spending time.
Is it productive? Is it what I need, want or should be doing? And every now and again I wonder if it is “eternal”. That last one came up in a conversation with my room mate. It’s a terribly hard question to answer and one that I would rather avoid.
Is my life “eternally” impacting? Is it one that will conclude with a “well done my good and faithful servant”. Is it one that does truly exemplify, “not my will but Yours be done”… I mean GASP!
I would love to look you all in the face and say, “yes, of course I am doing all that I am supposed to be”. But then there is that sneaking suspicion that if I was then why does it bother me so. It’s not as if I am determining if my shower was right. Did I wash all over? Yes. Did I miss anything? No. Then perfect!
But this is not the case.
Nonetheless I have resolved to ask Him and get a straight answer. I do know that this will be a daily asking. So much of this will be a daily giving of my heart back to Him, the one who does always know best. So much of me wants to be back in Africa. So much of me wants to be married, wants closer relationships, wants, wants, wants. But then I stop and I say, “what the heck do you want for me God?” Cause at the end of the day or should I say life… it’s You I am answering to anyway.
And so I digress with the thought of no matter what I want, I want You MOST of all and I pray that I am willing to say and do and be ALL that you WANT me to be.
Psalms 51:12… “grant me a willing spirit, one to sustain me”…
Meet Pops.
October 3, 2009
So I was walking back to my car after the gym. I see this man bent over with his hands digging in the puddles. I thought he was fishing for money. The way his bones poked out his arms made my stomach hurt. I wandered what he was looking for in the water. I wondered what he ate that day or even this week. I remembered I had four dollars in my car. The four dollars I was going to use for my lunch.
I had big plans of my lovely egg salad. And then there was this guy fishing in the puddle. I realized as I passed him that I was more than selfish to think of my belly while this guy was probably hoping to find some loose change in the debris. I got in my car and pulled out. I stopped and looked hard at him. He looked up and said, “you can go”. He didn’t know, but I couldn’t. I had to stop. Was this what Jesus felt like when he saw poverty? I don’t know.
I rolled my window down and he repeated himself, “You can go”. Whatcha doing I asked. Well I am unclogging the drains here so the water can get out. “Ahhhhh, I see”. I had a much closer view of his body now which wrentched my stomach. He looked like someone from Somolia or someplace. He was wearing clothes but his bones and veins were all I saw. I asked him his name and he said Pops. I offered him my four dollars. Not begrudgingly either (finally). He thanked me for it. I asked him what he was going to buy and he said food. Thank the Lord I thought. He looked like a strong wind could take him out cold.
I said, “you want me to get you something from McDonald’s?’ He was more than happy to give me the dollars back in exchange for a Big Mac. When I came back he was all smiles and all gratitude. I looked at him hard and realized that God just provided for this man a meal. My mind immediately thought of Matthew 6:24-33…
“For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? “Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? “And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?
I realized a lot from my encounter with Pops. Besides my ridiculous selfishness I realized that God is most concerned with the seemingly insignificant details of our lives. How do I always forget this? How is it that my faith struggles on the BIG things and forgets all the continued provision in every small part of my life.
I am so thankful that He reminds me over and over and over again of His CRAZY LOVE for me. And I am so thankful to be a part of Pops story for today. I have a feeling that I needed that time with Pops just as much as Pops needed a burger.
It’s happening.
October 2, 2009
So here we are with our 2nd story. Raquel and her son, Jr.
It’s a story of mega God-ness and it’s one that I am privileged to play a role in helping to change. Me and some other amazing devoted peeps have spent the last several weeks putting together all the info needed to tell this story. Andrew is our techy awesome video man who’s going to be rapping up the loose ends to this story’s media over the weekend. I will post it when available.
Gabi is our spunky, hiiarious tshirt designer. She works for Healing Place Church in the graphics dept. and is currently helping the StoryforHisGLORY apparel projects. She has skills like no one else I know! Also there is her partner in life and in crime, JoshBob. He is finishing up his Marketing degree at LSU and spends any of his extra time with his Gabi girl and helping StoryforHisGLORY look its’ best on the web. Site is in the process.
So I was curious if you like the tee. Any colors you think would be best for it? Please do let me know! The shirts will be able for purchase next week! Also, I will post Raquels’ Story tom after editing…
Sunday, Sunday!
September 28, 2009
So I had the most special surprise this weekend. It was Thursday night and my sister that lives in California called. She had that ring in her voice that meant something was going on. I greeted her and asked her what was up… To my surprise she had been asked to come down to BR for the weekend!
I know, that’s what I thought! WOW!
It’s amazing what a little family can do for your heart. I was elated. So we planned to meet on Sunday in New Orleans. Little did I know how much fun I was going to have. I picked up my grandparents at 8am and we were bound to the NO.
Once upon a time… our destination was “Brennan’s”, a special breakfast joint nestled in the French Quarter that was high class and high quality. I can’t begin on the lovely things I ordered. Among them were turtle soup, strawberry crapes and eggs combo-ed with deliciousness. It was so special sharing dinner with everyone. Lots of coffee, laughing… and a loads of great foods.
That’s the three of us girls. Ashley is to the left, the better looking half of me as she would put it. Someone has to get all the looks huh Ash? And then in the middle is Mel, or Melissa. She is as sweet as a Southern gal can get. Her giggles are endless and love for way too expensive purses is out of my mind’s scope. Nonetheless she is my dearest oldest sis and I love that she got to come to La even if it was too short…
Say hello to Joe. Yes, that’s my Paw Paw in all his glory. I can’t express the love I have for that man. He only says something when it’s worth saying it, mainly jokes at that. He isn’t one of those guys who likes to hear himself talk you know? Every time I am around him I like to pick his brain. I have been intrigued with people’s stories lately and come to find out he had more to his than I really knew. He was born in some obscure part of Sicily and came here with his 6 other brothers by BOAT! Yea, you heard me. I know, it’s crazy to me. Nonetheless he moved state side and ended up getting raised by his mother after his father was held up and shot in their family store. I KNOW. All these details… so late in my life. I am glad I get them now…
I insisted that him and my Meme pose with the colorful crazy horse.
I am instantly drawn to anything historic. If I close my mind off to this world enough I can almost take myself back to the time in history of the building or park or for this instance, the city of New Orleans 250 years ago… I feel like I can hear the sounds of the horses hooves carrying carriages and wisping by as I stand in the middle of it all. Just a thought though, just a brief small thought.
Another thing that I enjoy about this shot is my grandpa’s hand. I look at it and just get lost. All those years. All those places he has used those hands. All the times he has held his wife’s hand. All the work those hands have invested time in. I just can’t fathom it all. I appreciate those hands. I know that somehow those hands have played a huge part in this life I am living and for some reason that makes me short on breath. This picture is so much more than two people, it’s more than a moment, it’s rich with love, it’s rich in emotion. It’s my heritage and that makes me proud and emotion in the same second.
This next picture makes me want to start shooting photos again. I took it very seriously in college but as monies ran out and life ran on, I lost the art. What do you think? I just wish I could give this shot to these lovely people.
When I shot this one I realized that photography is still a large part of my heart.
Again, this duo makes me smile in so many ways. Meme makes 91 in January and I can’t explain how NOT 90 she is. The woman still works out 3 times a week… drives, not on the interstate, but nonetheless, DRIVES! When we are places she doesn’t know how loud she speaks about the people that wait on us or that pass by abruptly. It’s more humorous than anything and I always have a bright red face when she tries to set me up with the boy that brings the bread to the table. It’s absolutely priceless, I cherish my times with them.
The time was GRAND. It’s a rare day for us all to be together! These two are jewels… absolute JEWELS….
More glamor shots!
She was realizing how amazing his joke was… it took a minute!
And they lived happily ever after… the End.
You pinch me, I bleed. You asked me, I wrote.
September 25, 2009
When life is NOT what you dreamed.
STOP. DROP and ROLL.
Noooo, wait that’s not it.
When life is not what you want it to be…
Freaking pinch yourself because it’s not supposed to be!!!
Yes, that is more what I am looking for….
One of the major things I have been learning lately is that we are all “given our lives” and everything that comes with them.. The people, the places, the particulars. I almost thought for a second that I “deserved” all these blessings and that goodness needs to knock me over in the morning. I thought that since I was “Natalie”… I got the hook up 24/7 or that it was something like my God given right to have peace and joy and abundance at ALL times. Which in fact is true but it has this clause that goes something like… “and the heat, stress and pains of this life…” Maybe it was the fact that I thought I was exempt because I already went through a stage like this… I had gone through a valley of death not very long ago with the loss of my parents and there is NO way to face another one so soon. Yes 5 years is too soon for “deserts”. Ten probably is too. Doesn’t He space these “experiences out” or something??? Whichever it was or all of the above, I was gravely wrong. Wrong to the point of harming myself maybe. I mean if I wouldn’t have expected such unrealistic everything maybe the blow to my chest wouldn’t have felt so hard!
Don’t get me wrong… EVERY OUNCE HAS BEEN USED… The other day a dear friend of mine always makes the most drastic of things in my mind seem as a drop in the bucket. Her words are soft and her love is deep. After “gushing” to her the other day she said to me ever so sweetly, “I hate that you are being squeezed”… Like a grape? Really. That’s it. Squeezed. After I thought about it for a bit I realized her words were True though. Who is exempt from a squeezing?
Since the spiraling down of this lie I have awakened to the reality that “it”, this grand life we get to partake in, is less about my self-made ideals and desires and hopes and more of a receiving of His bests and worsts and everything in between. That my friends is “our God given right” for sure.I mean look at the hundreds of examples we see. Pastors didn’t start in a fully populated church. And it surely wasn’t packed with extra, “cream of the crop” saintly Christians. No I am sure the path of walking for that man was more of a incline, decline… bend around and behind sort of deal… less mountaintop ALL the time!!! Or take the typical person in the seat next to you on the boat, on the plane… wherever you might be… I am sure if you took a second to ask them how their day was and after you got beyond all that small talk jargon you could probably get to the meat of their life and hear some pretty grim stories or some stories that are filled with hope and happiness…. Either way you cut it you get two sides.
So simply said, “He is teaching me no matter the side, He’s on it”.
We have all that we need to succeed….
But are we using it, are we tapping into that resource, are we using all that we have been given… probably not… but it’s not too late for sure.
You didn’t think abundant life just knocks on your day and says, “let me in” now do you???… No, joy comes when relief from the pain comes or when you realize that it’s been worth it all happens. It comes from the people we share our life with, from the people we “make moments” with and yes you do have to make moments because my friend before you know it you are 27 and have almost lived a 1/3 of a lifespan and you can’t remember half of what you have done. So yes make moments, be uncomfortable. Do something you usually wouldn’t and stop trying to figure out why’s, how’s and when’s…
_LIVE WITH PURPOSE. DO IT BEFORE IT’S ALL SAID AND DONE_
Video of Swaz trip. This is jetlag in FULL EFFECT!
September 14, 2009
Beccaaaaaaa… BRING ME MY ELEPHANT!
So I gave Him my life a long time ago.
September 14, 2009
I remember living in Africa last year.
It was a stretching point. Away from home, all that is familiar… waiting for Him to answer some questions I had. I remember calling out to Him this day and I remember so clearly hearing, ‘You gave me your life a long time ago”.
I sat there in the car and thought about the thousands of days that I had served Him, trusted Him, called out to Him. I thought about His faithfulness in my life, through my parents deaths, through the darkness of being lost, through the dark alleys of my mind (thank you Donna). It was endlesss the things that He had litereally held my hand through.
And then on that fine day of VOID He spoke to me of my life being given to Him a long time ago.
I had a quote on my wall during that season… it was around the same lines, “you gave me your life in the blessed season, you can’t take it away during the Cross”. Of course not! That wouldn’t make any sense and honestly it wouldn’t be quite fair for Him.
MY LIFE IS HIS.
So how do you get through those hard days, seasons, on and on?
I have a friend, Jack. He is a man that is steeped in wisdom. He is older and has a elequoent way of being simplistic. I remember him telling me, “Jesus’ cross was agony to His flesh…. BUT the Garden of Gethsemene, now that was agony of His soul”. By NO means am I in the same garden expierence as our Jesus but we will all be familiar with the scene at one point in our life, maybe several.
Like Jesus’ soul, ours too will ask, “have you forsaken me?” And of course we will have the choice to walk with our Cross or abandon the whole bit of idea.
So since I can’t really write everything about Africa…
September 9, 2009
It all started here… with “the BEAST”… as I liked to call her. Yes, thank you Jesus Becca knows how to drive on NO sleep and jetlag. I don’t know if you can see but there was not a square inch of space in that back seat… we barely made it all fit. It was the beginning of the MOST beautiful trip of my life.
The was time for me to sit with Gogo’s (grandmother) on the side of the road. She had no idea what I was saying nor did I know what she spoke but one thing I know is she brought life to my day and I did for her. That Bible on the forefront of the pic was cracked opened and I showed her the Psalm of my life right now and she did for me from her. Mine was 139, hers was 17… 
KB insisted on sending me off after a proper almost breaking of he and Karl’s back. Needless to say I was squirming to get down. 
There was some AWESOME praying on the night of my leaving…
Words SERIOUSLY CAN NOT DO. I will try; AGAPE, DEEP, SPEECHLESS. Okay so I tried.
There was time for slides and friends and kids and fun!
My NEW lovely Zimbabwean family!!!!! Thank you Jesus for Ps 68:6. I LOVE YOU MICHELLE, Felicity, and my Zimbabwe Mama!
Ben did a SLAMMING job on his sermon on Sunday about “giving your life for a friend”. This was the 2nd of the 2 services the HPC has on Sundays. It’s for the Siswati speaking crowd. Richard, the man on his back, did a great job translating. My heart was so high I didn’t want to come down. 
New friends.
Dave, you are by far the MOST unChristian Christian I know. Terry, there’s n greater love than to lay your life down is your life motto with that man! 
My Alice. Thanks for your friendship. This is Zinty’s older sister. She lives in Zambia and her spirit is sweet as pie. She loves me but not as much as I do her!
The beautiful bride and her love. Thanks for making my life better Zie and Lu. I am looking forward to being Auntie to many beautiful African babies. You can name one of them Nattie. Yes, I think that would be nice. 
Agape and I. 
Isaac, Carol and little Isaac-a… that’s the most Isaac looking baby girl I have ever seen. B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!!!!
Beauty doesn’t really sum this Bride up. STUNNING, Absolutely STUNNING.
Ladybug of course showed up! This is my Ruthie, she makes my heart want to pop. God basically gave her to me so He could LOVE on me MORE….
Of course Brackenhill was part of the trip. Sooze and the kids was one of the three trips that I took. Again, God loves me SO MUCH to give me these people and hiking all in the same moment… ahhhhhhh
We did some embarrassing of the Bride. She was a good sport!
The three Chausua women… Heart exploding again… Life = FRIENDS. PERIOD. 
Bec testing out her dance moves before the wedding. Her and this Swazi mama had a little TOO much fun… kindof scary… Bec, BRING ME MY ELEPHANT!
And the amazing smile of this Swazi boy. Makes me want one. Okay it passed. 
And OF COURSE MY AFRICAN MAMA!!!!! Her name is Mrs. Nuxmalo and I do not know another single woman whom loves more than her. And I know a lot of women. Thank you Jesus for her!
Well I am jetlagging so I will post more later. Sleep time!!!!
Thanks Luke…
August 22, 2009
Everyone can do something….
I have no words that can express what is happening in my heart… there’s only one life, but a mist, WE CAN NOT BE COMPLACENT NOW….
WE ALL CAN DO SOMETHING…..
Hello Wednesday…
August 19, 2009
So we put together an impromptu video after finding out that funding for abstinence teaching is being scratched for 2010…. see Uncle Sam was giving out millions of dollars to get the “ABSTINENCE” message out to our young people…
So it looks like this… “The decision, which emerged last night when details of Obama’s budget for next year were published, will see $138m (£91.2m) a year redirected from abstinence-only programmes to “evidence-based and promising teen pregnancy prevention programmes. In its place, he is proposing a new $110m “teen prevention initiative” and a further $50m to states for pregnancy prevention programmes. The budget says that the most positive results are achieved by programmes that “provide a range of services in addition to comprehensive sex education, such as after school activities, academic support or service learning” _the Guardian, UK
Being that the rates of STDs has risen along with unwed pregnancy increases so it seems that all those dollars are being wasted… So he tossed the idea for a under par one in my opinion (I AM WAY BIASED)… the new message would be one with the abstinence message “included” in the material and voiced as one of the many ways of prevention…
Tony, one of the youths that is in our program suggested writing a letter to Mr. Obama… I said, “heck yes”. So here’s to minor camera skills, a quickly written letter and hearts that are passionate about purity!
