REVELING and COMMUNICATING>>>
My first day off in weeks. Not technically but absolutely. He told me to take off, nicely of course like He is notorious for doing. I couldn’t muster up so instead I embraced. To me the time was as foreign as the streets of Bangalore. I left the rest of the world to revel in the day’s unfolding and reveling I did indeed.PS, that’s my favorite adjective right now… Carouse, whoop it up… celebrate, MAKE MERRY>>>>>
It was a most beautiful day, in the physical and not. Like a well orchestrated piece of music, I just moved through the hours with ease and joy. Seems lately it’s been anything other than that piece of music. It’s been a head pounding rock band if you want my opinion. I didn’t realize I bought a ticket into the show until I was already through the doors and the music was already blaring. Boooooo, how did I get to this place anyway, where’s the driver, where’s my car, who is this rock band anyway?
So this bit of a musical masterpiece was just what this girl needed. The peace that came as the day unwounded proved His crazy love for me, once again. Side note, I don’t think we ever STOP needing to be reminded, the depths of His great love is the thing that needs refreshing in my mind most importantly, not the positivity of it all. So I am grateful for His tenderness in that regard.
I kick myself for thinking that life is this beauty of a journey the whole way round. But what I do know is that piece of music that takes us places we never imagined and brings those dreams into our present really makes up for all that rubbish we will call a rock show. That seemliness endless beauty that takes you to new places in His heart, yes that is where life ends and destiny picks up. I love that piece of music. I have gone from symphony to symphony never really realizing that the show doesn’t go on forever and yes, indeed the piece does come to an end.But now. Now He is opening these brown eyes to all the varieties of music in life and I am listening… YOU HEAR THAT DAD>>>> You’ve got my UNDIVIDED.
They say love is “bliss” and yesterday on the day that should have reminded me of all of life’s bitter sorrows, I instead found my love again. He was waiting for me all along. And so there I was with Him and His precious Psalms 68:6 guarantees and life yesterday was indeed “bliss”.
I could go in a thousand directions but I do want to keep you interested so I will tell you a bit about where I have been lately.
I am learning A LOT about “communicating”. No not speaking in public more the basics for relationships 101 stuff. It’s terribly hard for me while painfully elementary. It sends my stomach swirling when I actually start contemplating a conversation that MUST happen or SHOULD be done. See I was raised in the “put that under the rug house” well at least for the really important things. And so tackling such issues in life have never been my forte’.
It was always so much easier to lift the edge of the carpet and make room for more “stuff” or walk around the pink elephant in the room rather than “T_A_L_K_ about the mess of a thing”. PUKE>>>>> Throw me off the mountain rather!!!! It’s how it all went down in the Spera home and you know what they say, “you learn by watching, kids are impressionable, and a handful of other blame the parents mottos”. And so Natalie didn’t talk and is just now breaking good ground with the whole process.
But God right>>> But He has a say so in my life and all so here I am being way to vulnerable and all too molded for my “don’t address” it tastes. It started with a girl, Krissy, who moved in and well she talked about everything. I was fresh out of losing mom and dad, 9 months or so…. that’s short for us “avoider-s”. So whatever she wanted to talk about I was all ears but no mouth. And that’s how I “managed” for the longest time. But it stopped working after several carpet fulls and no more space in the house with all the pink elephants and all. So I had to start letting people in, I had to let go of all I was wanting to grip so tightly to and allow myself to open up and use my heart… I mean voice. The communicating bit is probably multi-dimensional but for lack of time I am giving you the short version.
And so that’s how it started and by goodness George I know we haven’t reached the end. I might at times feel that I have reached my end but then again that’s exactly where this girl needs to be anyhow. So I am learning how to communicate. Don’t you laugh, this is important stuff. Obviously important enough for Him to throw me in the middle of a crowd communicating rock band and tell me to have a good time. Grrrr>>>>
