Being most alive.

This morning I was a bit behind. I hit the pavement at 6:15. It was so quiet out I could hear my breath coming out of my mouth, it was brilliant. Soft strides became my pattern. The words of my friend Adam were being heard in the back of my mind… “stay on your toes, use your hamstrings, sprint for 10 minutes…” I listened and applied… wanting to became accustomed to this NEW sport I was embarking on.

I read in a magazine that hills increase the amount of energy you burn by 40% so I was planning out my route as I ran. I couldn’t have asked for a better morning.. the air was so light which is not so in South Louisiana summers so I cherished it all the more. My heart was set for wide open spaces… the biggest lot of green grass in my couple miles radius. I noticed that I was wired for such a place. It occurred to me that it WAS THE PLACE I desired to be… no concrete sidewalk guiding my feet, no I wanted the City Park golf course with all it’s hills and thrills of turns and soft grass. That is what I was yearning for. So off I went….

I laughed at myself as I veered off the sidewalk and onto the dirt path that had been worn into the ground by years of people like me or golf-carts… whichever. As I ran the glee in my heart burst forth. I was in bliss. Silence in the middle of wander. I basked in it all, sucking it in like I had just come up for air. God showed me something in all this. He showed me that as much as I like the “off the beaten path” bit that so it was in my life. The formal sidewalks and streets that led to more streets just did not appeal to this girl the way the windy dirt road called out to her. I was comforted in His showings. I saw that as much as I look at all the streets and all their conformity and uniform cleanliness that was not this girls’ heart beat. The standard squares that made standard blocks BORED THE HECK out of me.

Instead, I realized that it was that disheveled trail that my heart long for. Probably leading to broken down places and people that have been lost along the way someday in some God awful way. Nonetheless I felt comforted. I felt encouraged that like that path into the wide openness, their my heart felt most alive. And being alive, well that is something I can’t pass up in this one little life I have. One thing that I feel mandated to is in John 10:10…
“the enemy has come to steal kill and destroy but I have come to give you life and life more abundantly”…
I revel in the words of Christ here. Longing to FULLY understand what He is speaking of… the “full Life”… Not just your regular, run of the mill living but full OUT LIFE>>>>> How can I, how do I….

It’s just that so much of my life has been a debacle. Utter debacle-ness. And then there is Christ. There is this man whom I met or who met me… whichever… and well since then has revolutionized my life. Revolutionized…. let me help you…. RADICALLY, SUPERNATURALLY and absolutely emphatically>>>> But it doesn’t even hit the tip of what He has done. And literally HE… not Natalie… not a system or a set of anything… LIKE HIM>>>>> And so it’s this passion to see John 10 pursued and acquired for all who seem just as equally fascinated.

Being most alive. Where is that for you? How does that fit into what He has in your life? All these questions I do need more time with and so I can conclude that there is this innate desire that I have just been able to put words in my own life and I am thankful for His allowing me to understand a bit more of how this clock ticks. I think about if I wouldn’t have ran this morning… or if when I did run I would have stuck to the streets, the blocks in the neighborhood and then… then I would have missed this all…..