Recap>

No doubt this is long over due… I got 45 minutes till I have to be at the next spot and it’s about 2 weeks of Natalie I wanna cram into this post… won’t happen but you will get the gist of it….

Mainly I have been SEEKING the heck out of Him…. I have headliner questions and have been lifting them up and stressing out about them in the same breath. It’s crazy. I have had this, “I do, I get” mentality. And it is so far from what actually needs to happen it makes me wanna spit. I have been in the school of God for the past two weeks and as much as I “DO”… it means squat. Yea, no doubt He is ready and willing to hear but performance is not on His lists of meet these requirements and then I can give answers…. Really, y’all. I have been striving in myself I am so tired it hurts. What relief to find out that it has nothing to do with me.

I read Susan’s Facebook status the other day and it said something like this,

“Grace: puts the burden to perform on God rather than the believer.”

I know! It makes me wanna dance as well. So today I am revved…. He has given me my answers. My devotional this morning spoke plain and clearly about “MOVING FORWARD” and how FAITH and TRUST are to be solid in what He has already told you to do… So I am committing to make it to my friends wedding in Sept in Swaziland… Yeah, I know, I was just there… but you don’t understand this friend I will probably not see for a looooooooong time because she is moving to Zimbabwe after her and Lu marry (that’s where he lives). I KNOW>>> So I have to see her and the rest of my African family… so yes, $1,200 to go! So first and foremost, I need fund raising ideas>>> where you at Carole Turner and Meghan Matt???

He is so GOOOOOD>>>> After I read my devotional my ears and heart were perked up…. I knew He was speaking and THEN, in the back of my mind somewhere I think, God can you just show me a Africa and that’s when I will really know… Well… Y’all, I SWEAR>>> I am about the leave the house and I walk past the washing machine and there is this piece of something that looks like an Africa…. I FREAKED>>>> What, is this really happening>>> I run into the kitchen and ask my roomie Kristan to please decifer what I am looking at… She in turn tells me she doesn’t know and then quickly retorts, “no, that came off my hat!”… Still, I was stumped… “Did He really just do this”….

ABSOLUTELY>>>>>

So other basics about my life:

1. I figured out that the “>” symbol that I love SO MUCH means forward to me. Which is where I am going these days… FORWARD>>>>

2. I had the most splendid day. Ate with some of the girls from the church at Popeyes, realized after staring and calculating the menu for 20 minutes that I am broke and am forced into being cheap…. BOOOOOO on budgets… Also funny sidenote… after we ate, Danielle throws the ketchup packs at Jeanette and says, “bring these to the car, Ms. Natalie might need these”… I gasped and smiled and assured Jeanette it wasn’t necessary… Can’t blame the girl for wanting to be prepared you heard me>

3. I met the most random boy, Brian, I fell at the first sight of him. He’s 2… He was left on the front porch of this lady named Brenda whom now takes care of him… He had a diaper on his butt and that’s about it… When I first started talking to her at the Super Walmart she said I could have him…. within 10 minutes of chit chat and high fives, she was asking me for help from the church. Of course you know what I had to say about that. I of course captured the moment on my handy dandy iPhone but homeboy liked to move… posted two> I am planning on scrounging up some clothes and maybe cooking a meal for the duo asap… I really can only do pasta dishes, boil, pour, add some randomness from the kitchen and presto!!!!

So that’s what I have been doing… trying to figure out how He loves me like crazy and loves to trump me on this whole who can give MORE>… Really, I give… HE MULTIPLES MINE and then ADDS some of HIS and then does a pie, squared sort of thing and I am back to being trumped. It’s just unfathomable how crazy He is about us.

So here’s to trying to fathom.

GLORRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY>